We are back and relaunching!!!!!!!!!!! Stand by for relaunch date

Thank you all for your patience… I hope to be back to work very soon after my fall from glory when I landed in a million pieces. I was hoping to be back sooner than later, but right now I am currently waiting for a Obamacare government official to decide whether I’m “eligible” for more pain medication. I know I’m getting a bit older these days, but I can still prove that I’m useful to society… After all, go back and read all of those great speeches I wrote about “hope and change”. I AM STILL GOOD! I want to live! I want to live!

I’ll be completely honest… Ever since I fell and crashed my glass a couple of weeks ago, I haven’t been quite the same person. Let’s just say I’ve been spending a lot of time consulting with Mr. Vicodin. And as a result, Mr. O’s poll numbers reflect my hiatus. For purposes of full-disclosure, I’m about to board a plane to spend a weekend at Promises in Malibu with Dr. Drew. I will be back in DC on Monday renewed and improved. I need to get well so I can save a presidency. Thank you all for your kind emails. The Teleprompter Kid is back in business…………

I’m still in bed recovering from my fainting spell when my teleprompter glass crashed during a speech Mr. O and I were giving. I ended up having to go back into the hospital. The good news is that I got a private room this time. In an effort to cheer myself up, I decided to re-wallpaper my hospital room with these photos…

I’m home in bed too weak to write today… Hopped up on percocets like a waffle house waitress.

Good news. I just received word that I’m able to leave the hospital today. However, due to Obamacare, I just realized the head nurse here is the same woman who helped me at DMV two weeks ago. Should I be concerned? There’s talk that I might need some reconstructive plastic surgery. I’m going to see if I can pull enough strings to get a chin implant out of the deal as well. By the way, still no one from the administration has stopped by to visit me. I think they are all protecting themselves against a possible future lawsuit. Whatever, I’m just happy to go home and see my teleprompter family. This situation is FAR from over…

Still in the hospital: Some in the media are speculating that I was high on drugs when I crashed over and blamed my fall on being some kind of teleprompter junkie. This is blatant slander!!! The last thing I remember is Rahm Emanuel giving me a glass of cherry Kool Aid, and about 10 minutes later I was on the ground shattered into a million pieces… I will not be slandered! I will not have my credibility torn apart in the press! I’ve done a lot of great things for this administration. I’ve been a good soldier. I will deal with all of this later as soon as I figure out how to use this bedpan……….. More to come

I’m still in the hospital fresh out of surgery. The doctors think they will be able to repair my glass. You’d think at least one person from the administration would have visited me or sent me condolences while I’m in here. NOTHING, NADA, ZILCH… In fact, I’m hearing rumors that they want to reassign me to be Biden’s teleprompter!!!!! Mark Geragos, how come you aren’t returning my calls? Is every lawyer afraid of Mr. O? Unfortunately, this is going to get ugly. Stay tuned…