Thank you all for your patience… I hope to be back to work very soon after my fall from glory when I landed in a million pieces. I was hoping to be back sooner than later, but right now I am currently waiting for a Obamacare government official to decide whether I’m “eligible” for more pain medication. I know I’m getting a bit older these days, but I can still prove that I’m useful to society… After all, go back and read all of those great speeches I wrote about “hope and change”. I AM STILL GOOD! I want to live! I want to live!

Good news. I just received word that I’m able to leave the hospital today. However, due to Obamacare, I just realized the head nurse here is the same woman who helped me at DMV two weeks ago. Should I be concerned? There’s talk that I might need some reconstructive plastic surgery. I’m going to see if I can pull enough strings to get a chin implant out of the deal as well. By the way, still no one from the administration has stopped by to visit me. I think they are all protecting themselves against a possible future lawsuit. Whatever, I’m just happy to go home and see my teleprompter family. This situation is FAR from over…

Don’t blame me for the bad ratings on last nights “Obamacare” infomercial on ABC. I had the night off…